This thread made me realize just how feeble people are in assessing individuals and situations in an exacting way. Of course, the fact that the Turkish culture is somewhat inscrutable, doesn't help. Being a yabanci (foreigner) who work with Turkish men on a daily basis, I can't help but be in awe of how they function as people in their society. Some of the things that I have encountered are right out of a fiction novel although even in one's desire to be absurd, couldn't possibly create them in one's mind. When a young man who you might have known for six months tells you, "You are the best friend I have ever had," it speaks volume of their emotional corruption and delusional mental state and a lot of times, a total disconnect from reality.
Most unmarried men live with their mothers and are expected to and would be considered abnormal if they choose to be independent away from home; hence, their meals are cooked, clothes washed, rooms cleaned, needs catered to continually by their mothers even at the age of forty-five. Unfortunately for these men, Turkish culture and the Islam religion forbid them to bring their girlfriends home, so after a seemingly fashionable get together in a bar or club with his friends, a man could be found in a secluded road with his girlfriend performing fellatio on him in a car, before driving the girl home so she may wake up the next morning appearing the most proper Muslim persona.
A Turkish woman divulge to me that oral and anal sex are prevalent because the measure of a woman's virtue is an intact vagina - meaning that a girl may have an anus the size of the Lincoln Tunnel and tasted and swallowed 200 sperm types, so long as her vagina is intact, she is a good candidate for marriage. Of course, if a girl refuses to wear a head scarf, but comes to a time when she needs to hook a husband, it helps tremendously to start wearing a head cover as they are considered virtuous regardless of her past. The man may be cognizant of the dubious possibilities about the woman's past, but in his mind, why belabor the issue but instead take her at face value, the essence of a pure, sweet and traditional covered Muslim girl.
An American acquaintance intervened when we saw a man hitting his girlfriend on the street. When the police was called, the woman declared, "This is my fiance and he loves me, and I don't know why these yabanci are interfering." The American got a warning from the police not to ever get involved again. Manhandling your wife or girlfriend is a show of love - sad but very true.
There was an English teacher that I met in one of the parties in Istanbul. He was married to a Turkish woman. Per him, his wife would beat him and even though he was twice the size of her, he would not hit back. She then would ask in frustration, "Why don't you hit me back? Don't you love me?"
My female friend Ecem has a female friend. Her friend would meet her at a cafe and proudly show off her black and blue beaten body to Ecem, to show just how much her husband loves her. Is this sick? Yes, but it is Turkish.
A four year old boy playing in the park with other children of similar age while their mothers watch over them, would be prodded, albeit light heartedly, by one of the mothers to hit the girl next to him. When the girl cries, this same boy is told to go back and hug her to show love. Farfetched? Come to Turkey and you will see this for yourselves. It is dually fascinating and most disturbing at its most archaic.
The meydan (square) could be empty, yet a woman would walk from the sides directly in your path and bump into you without a thought. I am not sure yet whether this is a feeling of entitlement as a woman who you are supposed to get out of her way, or it is a ploy to have some body contact with the opposite sex at any cost since they really don't get to touch the opposite sex in any other normal situation - at times, not even just a hand shake.
Yes, Turkish men appreciate foreign girls but only for sex. As soon as the sex act is finished, the man would jump in the shower and clean himself (religious reasons) and run back to his girlfriend or wife. This suits a lot of foreign women because that is what they are here for after all - rough, nasty, and taboo sex. This is probably why no mater how proper other foreign women are, they are always considered whores by virtue of being foreigners. Turkish men love the idea of Russian girls with blue eyes and blonde hair. Perhaps this is why the sales of hair coloring is up in Turkey, for every girl seems to want to dye her hair blonde to try and land a man.
There is no hope for an enlightened conversation with either men or women as they are oblivious of the outside world. To be honest, they are oblivious of their own world. So long as they have their blackberries or iPhones while they are wearing their Gucci shoes, they are good to go - no need to know about anything else. Civics are out the window. So, why demostrate in the streets against the government then? True, there are exceptions to the rule, always, but how else are the opposite sex going to meet each other then - school activities and demonstrations (things that their parents allow them to do). Otherwise, they are expected to come straight home with no chance of interacting with each other. In fact, a great many of them take extra courses just in the hopes of meeting someone.
In cases of marriages which are not the norm between Turkish men and foreign women, it is almost guaranteed that it is between a blue or green passport holder and a Turkish man. Get the picture?
Seeing a man touch a woman's face repeatedly though looks like caressing is actually a show of ownership. "This is my woman, see? I can touch her face as much as I want to. Don't dare to even look at her. She is taken." Doing harm because of unrequited love, although is ever so slowly disappearing still exists in Istanbul but still socially acceptable in the eastern cities - this includes murder.